Friday, September 3, 2010

If Lee Hsien Loong sang the National Day Rally speech out...

Hello. Welcome to a rare blog post in which I am not writing 1000 to 3000 words to make a point.

Here are some songs written in past half hour, depicting life in Singapore.

Well, it is pretty obvious after watching Chestnuts at Raffles Hotel Jubilee Hall, I was kind of inspired. Jonathan, I also can write, ya? Haha, I had a good time watching Chestnuts, by the way. Excellent energy throughout the entire performance, although some intertextual and cultural jokes flew over some of the audiences' heads. Thanks, Jonathan.

You guys know the Beatles? You better do. The following song is in the tune of the Beatles' hit, "A Hard Day's Night". It captures basically what Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong was talking about in his National Day Rally. Sing the song if you like, because syllable for syllable, the parody kinda fit decently.



(verse)
He’s a Lee and he’s right
Foreign talent is good for you
He’s a Lee and he’s right
Because he’s the son of Lee Kuan Yew

With integrated programme
Stratify our whole land
You know the PM always right

You know they work all day
They get paid millions, you have no say
And to buy votes on Election Day
They give you nine-K NS pay

Because he’s PM Hsien Loong
We lesser humans are wrong
You know the PM always right

(chorus)
In our home
Population seems not right
In our home
FT’s make wages so tight, tight yeah

(verse)
He’s a Lee and he’s right
We’re not producing two point one
Maybe Chinese chee byes are sewn tight
Not enough money, not enough LAN

Because he’s PM Hsien Loong
We lesser humans are wrong
You know the PM always right

OWWWWW (interlude)... (take it away, Hsien Loong...)
(enter PM Lee with an audacious guitar solo)

Because he’s PM Hsien Loong
We lesser humans are wrong
You know the PM always right

(chorus)
In our home
MRT trains can be right
In our home
We don't have to squeeze in so tight, tight yeah

(verse)
He’s a Lee and he’s right
He'll do the fixing for Singapore
He's a Lee and he's right
He'll even fix some people more

Because he’s PM Hsien Loong
We lesser humans are wrong
You know the PM always right
You know the PM always right
You know the PM always right... (fade out)

Of course, that's not the only song I shall share with you. While writing it, I was thinking about Wong Kan Seng. Who can forget the classical Mas Selamat getaway? Sung in the tune of Singapura (the one with "sunny island, set in the sea"), hit it, Kan Seng!



I am sorry
Oh I am sorry
Mas Selamat
Left ISD

I am sorry
Oh I am sorry
Out the toilet
Window did he flee

Come along we’re all wrong
It’s all our fault
It’s complacency
It’s not only me

I am sorry
Oh I am sorry
You won’t hear that
Cos my name is Kan Seng

Not a very long song. But I was just warming you up for the newer generation Singaporean's favourite National Day song, "Home", sang by Kit Chan. Such a beautiful song. I realise not many people know about the Ministers in the Cabinet, so I have decided to educate you, in the tune of "Home". I figured if Hossan Leong can summarise Singapore's history into one song, I can summarise the Cabinet in a song too.



(verse)
Whenever I think of George Yeo
Foreign affairs he all know
There’s a senior in Balaji
Who talk rubbish years ago (he linked the spike in Aids to gay parties by the way)

Lim Hwee Hua is the first lady
Minister with more
Portfolios in Boon Heng’s life
Maybe they might give her more

(chorus)
Lee Hsien Loong, truly
He’s the son of Harry
Who’s known as MM Lee
In between they had a Goh

Gan Kim Yong, is he
Manpower ministry
He is why we work to the bone
At ten o’clock we’re still not home

(verse)
When there are lessons to go through
Doctor Eng Hen will teach you
There is Tharman and his knowledge
Because finance is his stew

Yaacob has been under weather
So sick he go see Khaw
There’s Bow Tan, the one with ang mo wife
Planning for Singapore

(chorus)
Lee Hsien Loong, happy
Balakrishnan’s savvy
Vivan kills the aunties
But Tuck Yew censor the whole show

This home, surely
Chee Hean is for safety
This is where you’ll never be alone
Cos Kan Seng let Selamat home…

(repeat chorus)
There is trade, industry
Hng Kiang make us money
Foreign talent swarm me
We could vote them out you know?

This is home, surely
People’s Action Party
This is where I won’t be alone
For this is China’s second home…

1 comment:

sesquipedalian said...

ahahahhaahahah... it's as instructive as the alphabet song. I will never think "P" comes after "R" or "T" after "S" anymore.